Get all 11 Gunnar Madsen releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Amphibian Shake, Push Pull, Sheet Music: Anna - Piano Solo, I am your Food, Two Hands, I'm Growing, Fall of Troy, Ants in My Pants!, and 3 more.
1. |
10,000 Pancakes
02:45
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Ten Thousand pancakes
Is what it took to make my life complete
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve finally, finally had enough to eat
Ten Thousand pancakes
I won’t be needing vegetables or meat
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve had enough, I had enough to eat.
Sumo, Sumo, Sumo
Ten Thousand pancakes
Is what it took to make my life complete
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve finally, finally had enough to eat
Ten Thousand pancakes
I won’t be needing vegetables or meat
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve had enough, I had enough to eat.
Just put one fork in front of the other
And soon you’ll be bolted to the ground
It’s takes perseverance, friend,
But you’ll get there in the end
You’ll put on 300 pounds,
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve been to the East
I’ve been to the West
Searching for the food that’s best
I’ve been up the mountain
And down to the darkest depths
But always came away so hungry
Nothing, it seemed, could fill my lack
Until one day I met a plain and humble flapjack living in a short stack
Just put one fork in front of the other
And soon you’ll be bolted to the ground
It’s takes perseverance, friend,
But you’ll get there in the end
You’ll put on 300 pounds
Ten Thousand pancakes
Is what it took to make my life complete
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve finally finally had enough to eat
Ten Thousand pancakes
I won’t be needing vegetables or meat
Ten Thousand pancakes
I’ve had enough, I had enough to eat.
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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2. |
Divine Bovine
03:01
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You’re newborn, you’re toothless, it’s the first taste on your tongue
It’s safe, it’s pure, it’s mother’s milk, it feeds every mammal’s young
But my milk goes into a truck, from there it is far-flung
I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, mm-mm
They brand me, they stand me out here in this grass
Sometimes it rains, and I get pains from bloating, ya know, gas
But I remain contented, ‘cause I know this too shall pass
I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, mm-mm
Milk milk, moo, moo
Go ahead and pour yourself a tall one
Milk milk, moo, moo
Remember me, my friend, for we are all one I’m in your tall one
I’m chewing, I’m mooing, every waking hour
I’ve got to keep 4 stomachs full to keep from going sour
It’s not all tender clover, those thistles take jaw power
I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, mm-mm
Milk milk, moo, moo
Delightful goodness comes from all that chewing
Milk milk, moo, moo,
Remember me, my friend, I’m out here mooing, and always chewing
I’m bovine, and that’s fine, I go with the flow
I ruminate on pleasant things, the things I hate I let go
Life to me seems simple, maybe I’m kinda slow
I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, no-no
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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3. |
Diet of Worms
04:43
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Well I’m coming to terms with my qualms and concerns
‘bout the lack in my food of all bugs and all germs
It’s too antiseptic it makes me dyspeptic and so I’ve decided to live on a
Diet of worms
Hey, it looks like spaghetti (except that it squirms)
And it’s chock full of protein, my doctor affirms that the
Key to long life
#1 avoid strife
#2 use a fork and a knife on a
Diet of worms
Diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms
I pray your indulgence on this bowl of effulgence
Martin Luther himself would have sat for a bowlful
Eaten all he could want if it weren’t for that pontiff
Mr. Luther stood proud and claimed faith in the diet of worms
Diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms
Some folks just don’t buy it
They attempt to deny it
But if they’d just try it
They might like this diet
You just wash it and dry it makes a crusty good pie it tastes great, you can deep fat fry it
and you’ll still be on your diet
Your diet of worms
A respected medical journal confirms
This diet helped students score high on midterms
Health food stores served it first, claimed it was co-opted
When it was adopted by top U.S. firms
Can it make you sleep better or stop your bedwetting?
Well it did cure forgetting in old pachyderms
As for hair growth or loss, the jury’s still out
But it gave frosted highlights to women with perms
When they all ate their worms
Diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms
Yes, worms live in the dirt, when you bite down, they hurt, when they’re sauteed they squirt, they can’t wear a tee shirt, they’re just slow, not inert, while they do make good main courses they’re not so great for dessert
Diet of Worms
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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4. |
What if I?
03:06
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What if I baked potatoes?
What if I french fried onion rings? Oh…
What if I buttered bagels?
What if I smelled of sauerkraut? Oh...
And what if I got up early
And cooked 3 dozen hard-boiled eggs?
Would you stand beside me anyway?
And what if I chopped onions and cried?
And what if I had feelings I couldn’t hide?
And what if I gave you something extra on the side?
What if I sliced salami
When ham was what you had in mind? Oh…
What if you ordered turkey
But all I had was chicken breast? Oh...
And what if I brought home bacon
When all you wanted was a bouquet?
Would you still enjoy it anyway?
And what if I cut onions and cried?
And what if I had feelings I couldn’t hide?
And what if I gave you something extra on the side?
Something special you’d never tried?
What if I owned a deli...?
Oh….
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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5. |
In My Soup
03:34
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Swimmin’, Swimmin’ (oh…)
He’s swimmin’, Swimmin’ (oh…)
Swimmin’ around in my soup
swimmin’ around in my soup
swimmin’ around in my soup
Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’
Oh (oh) Ay (ay) Yeah
He was flyin’, flyin’ (oh…)
yeah, he was flyin’, flyin’ (oh…)
But now he’s swimmin’ around in my soup
swimmin’ around in my soup
swimmin’ around in my soup
Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’
Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’
Oh (oh) Ay (ay) Ew (ew) Yeah
Waiter?
What’s this fly doin’ in my soup?
What’s this fly doin’ in my soup?
What’s this fly doin’ in my soup?
Waiter: That’s an oil-cured olive, sir.
Then a fly... did a swan dive
Then another fly...did a belly flop
Then another fly...did a big old cannonball
Then all the flies
Did the hundred centi-meter crawl
Waiter: Those are oil-cured olives, sir...
They were swimmin’, Swimmin’ oh…
They’re swimmin’, Swimmin’ oh…
Swimmin’ around in my soup
swimmin’ around in my soup
swimmin’ around in my soup
Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’
Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’
Oh (oh) Ay (ay) Ew (ew) Whoa (whoa-ew) Yeah
Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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6. |
Egg Salad in the Sun
03:40
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Egg salad in the sun, Egg salad in the sun
Sweatin’ under stretched plastic skies
Russian Roulette, bacteria cries
Egg salad in the sun, Egg salad in the sun
The chicken’s almost done
The hot dog’s in a bun
Devil in the eggs multiplyin’
Don’t let it go to waste, save a taste for Brian (Who’s Brian?)
Egg salad in the sun, Egg salad in the sun, Yeah, yeah!
Beware! Imminent Ptomaine! Take cover under Lady Nature’s leafy bower.
EIGHTY DEGREES Sun beating down…
NINETY DEGREES Sun beating down…
NINETY FIVE DEGREES Sun beating down…
ONE HUNDRED DEGREES Sun beating down…
A HUNDRED AND FIVE Sun beating down…
A HUNDRED AND TEN Sun beating down…
A HUNDRED AND TWENTY Sun beating down…
IS THIS THE END - MY FRIEND? Down! Down!
Egg salad in the sun, in the sun…
Mother?! Why would you have a picnic on such a hot, hot day?
Father?! Why are the drinks not cold?
Brian?! Brian?! Has anyone seen Brian?
He was enjoying the egg salad…
Is this the end…of Brian?
The end of Brian?
Brian?!
Briaaaan!?
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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7. |
I am Your Food
03:25
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If I’m a tomato, you’re a tomato
If I’m a bagel, you are one too
If I’m a hot dog, you’re a hot dog
If I’m a pistachio, you’re a pistachio
If I am pastrami, pastrami is you
If I’m a pepper, you’re a pepper
I am your food, you are what you eat
I am your food, your food, your food
I am your food, you are what you eat
Sauteed or stewed, boiled or brewed, I am your food
If I am baloney, you are baloney
If I’m a noodle, the noodle is you
If you’re chopped liver, what am I?
I am your food, you are what you eat
Solid or chewed, dressed up or nude, I am your food
If I’m missing something, you’re missing something
If you are full of it, you’re full of me
If I’m asparagus, you’re asparagus, we are asparagus, Oh!
If I am delicious, you are delicious
If I’ve gone bad, what about you?
If I’m okay, You’re okay
I am your food, you are what you eat
I am your food, your food, your food
I am your food, you are what you eat
Refined or crude, bad or good, I am your food
Controlling your mood, changing your ‘tude, I am your food
Salty or sweet, staple or treat, You are what you eat - I am your food!
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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8. |
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Liverrr! It’s a thing you can’t explain
For some it’s nearly ecstasy, for others it’s pure pain
Liverrr! It’s featured at some fine buffets
My brother loves his liver, but me, it makes me shiver
We love every kind of food but when it comes to liver, we go separate ways
Liver it’s the chosen food of potentates and kings
But simple folk enjoy it too, sometimes with onion rings
Liverrr - with a texture you can savor
A superfood, improves your mood, your energy will be renewed, but best of all you’re gonna grow to love that lively lovely liver flavor
I could never stomach liver, Dad thought I was being picky
But I’d eat anything, there’s only one thing that’s so icky
Okay, so it’s amazing, it’s nature’s largest gland
It’s the flavor that repulses, I cough, my throat convulses, keep it far away, away, away, for liver is the food that I Can’t Stand
Liver, liver, sound the bells, beat the liver drums!
Mama’s cooking liver on the mountain, here it comes!
Liver - Everybody’s got one inside
Liver - I don’t want my liver deep fried!
Liver was detested by the great George Bernard Shaw
And yet when he fell ill he took injections of foie gras
Liverrr! It’s enshrined in France’s law
In America we’re free to like foie gras or leave it be
But will our kids be forced to eat that liver by their mas and pas?
Liver, liver, sound the bells, beat the liver drums!
Mama’s cooking liver on the mountain, here it comes!
So if you’re stuck upriver, with no paddle and no food
If the natives offer liver, smile big and eat a sliver
For for even if you are a liver hater, you don’t want to be rude. Don’t be rude.
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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9. |
Food Too Fast
03:22
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This is a story about the dangers of fast food…
Where’s my chicken? It was here just a minute ago…
Where’s the drinks? Where’s the fries? Where’d it all go, bro?
Everybody, hold on now, hold still
This food’s gotta slow slow down
I mean, I’m here, and my lunch has run off to the other side of town
See that nervous potato, going faster n’ faster?
Can’t make those sharp turns, headed for disaster
Seems so tasty Too too hasty
That food’s too fast for me - Try to snatch it
That food’s too fast for me - Can’t catch it
That food’s too fast for me
Here it comes, Here it comes
Ah here it comes, Too fast!
That food’s too fast for me - Can’t grab it
That food’s too fast for me - Like a rabbit
That food’s too fast for me - Can’t grab it
Top down open road,, golden nuggets flyin’ by
Grumbling in my stomach, high-strung french fry
Quarter pound of cow, twelve teaspoons of salt
Tense, twitchy special sauce, can’t slow down, can’t halt
36 ounces, down the gullet
Goin’ uphill, can’t hardly pull it
Headed downtown like a bullet, like a bullet
That food’s too fast for me - No dishes
That food’s too fast for me - It’s delicious
That food’s too fast for me
Here it comes, Here it comes
Ah here it comes, Too fast!
That food’s too fast for me - Let me tell ya
That food’s too fast for me - Brown n’ yellow
That food’s too fast for me
Here it comes, Here it comes
Oh there it goes….
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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10. |
Lunch is in a Paper Bag
02:34
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Lunch is in a paper bag
A wrinkled brown one, a lost and found one
It’s the kind of lunch I’ve always had
They won’t sit near ‘ya in the cafeteria
Anyone would feel a little sad
If every day they held a paper bag
It’s helpless, and it’s hopeless, and it’s mad
To find yourself at the bottom of a helpless hopeless bag...
But If I had a lunchbox you would notice me
You would look my way you would finally see
And If I had a lunch box you would take my hand
You would walk with me, you would understand
If I had a lunchbox! For a thousand years
We would be together, there’d be no more tears!
We could share a lunchbox
A locker and a lunchbox
A cottage and a lunchbox
A life and a lunchbox
Is that so very much to ask?…
Lunch is in a paper bag
And I am lonely, and you’re the only one for me
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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11. |
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Between the clouds
A patch of blue
A million million flashes of silver
Raining down
In puddles and streams and rivers
Into the bay… the water shines
Iwashi, Iwashi, City of Sardines
The cats come down
Down from the mountains
They line the shore and wait patiently
With lanterns and nets
The people gather
The children laugh, the trumpets ring
Iwashi, Iwashi City of Sardines
So many years of uncertainty
Of promise fading, dissipating
Hungry no more. Fulfilled and full and finally provided for
Iwashi, Iwashi!
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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12. |
Shelf Life
03:29
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I live the shelf life I’m up to date
Got it printed on my bottom so you know I’m fresh and great
The time is now, you don’t wanna wait
Take me out, take a bite, before it gets too late
Step up to the plate
Timely fashion, timely taste, you got to keep up with the times, don’t go to waste
You sniff the milk and it sniffs you back, now you’re going down
You sniff the milk and it sniffs you back, now you’re going down
The hot dogs, they all got their day
Same with sour cream
Or that low-fat fruit parfait
You got to use it, or give it away
Life is short, live it up, before it’s all passé
Eat up, don’t delay
Life is not a cabernet, you don’t get better on the shelf, you just go gray
You sniff the milk and it sniffs you back, now you’re going down
It’s not a joke, it’s a gag attack, now you’re going down
You gotta get with the times, keep up, don’t lag
If you’re sitting around you get tired and old, you get moldy, you get the cold shoulder and you gonna make your friends all gag
You gotta eat it up, use it up, wear it out
You gotta make it do or do without
Why waste your time, your life, your food, your drink, check the date on the bottom don’t throw it in the sink
What you thinkin?
You think it all costs nothin?
Why you toss that potato, why you throw away the muffin? That’s a half a sandwich, it’s all good, start chewin, you know what you’re doin
Every shelf of your refrigerator needs a full inventory, check the label, tell the story of the food goin’ down, down down the drain
Wolf it down, don’t be a birdbrain!
I live the shelf life I’m up to date
Yeah, I’m fresh and great
The time is now, you don’t wanna wait
Before it gets too late
Step up to the plate
Timely fashion, timely taste, you got to keep up with the time
Don’t let me go to waste
Don’t let me go to waste
Check the date!
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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13. |
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The bread was warm
The green beans were lined up straight
The mashed potatoes were far-reaching
His arms outstretched
His glass of wine long-legged
Grandpa faced the corner, he was preaching
Napkins and tablecoths
Folding chairs
Twenty pounds of turkey on a platter
Candy canes and cigarettes
Hot toddies and Shirley Temples
Kids yell in the yard, in the kitchen grown-ups chatter
When winter comes light the candles
When the daylight fades have no fear
The longest meal, at the longest table, on the longest night of the year
Hard candy for the children
Whiskey sour for Uncle Frank
Hand to hand, the dishes wash and clatter
The young ones yawn
The jokes keep getting louder
Aunt Sarah fell asleep, Uncle Frank says he feels fatter
When winter comes light the candles
When the daylight fades have no fear
The longest meal, at the longest table, on the longest night of the year
©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
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Gunnar Madsen Berkeley
Gunnar Madsen is a Grammy-nominated composer/songwriter.
He’s written for the Minnesota Opera, Lincoln Center,
Universal Pictures and National Public Radio;
He has performed on The Tonight Show, the Smothers Brothers Show, PBS, and the BBC.
He co-founded the internationally acclaimed acapella group The Bobs.
He co-wrote the award-winning Off-Broadway musical “The Shaggs: Philosophy of the World”
... more
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