I am your Food

by Gunnar Madsen

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    Get all 9 Gunnar Madsen releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of I am your Food, Great Again!, The Power of a Hat, Old Mr. Mackle Hackle, Two Hands, Spinning World: 13 Ways of Looking at a Waltz, Ants in My Pants!, Fall of Troy, and 1 more. , and , .

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1.
Ten Thousand pancakes Is what it took to make my life complete Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve finally, finally had enough to eat Ten Thousand pancakes I won’t be needing vegetables or meat Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve had enough, I had enough to eat. Sumo, Sumo, Sumo Ten Thousand pancakes Is what it took to make my life complete Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve finally, finally had enough to eat Ten Thousand pancakes I won’t be needing vegetables or meat Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve had enough, I had enough to eat. Just put one fork in front of the other And soon you’ll be bolted to the ground It’s takes perseverance, friend, But you’ll get there in the end You’ll put on 300 pounds, Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve been to the East I’ve been to the West Searching for the food that’s best I’ve been up the mountain And down to the darkest depths But always came away so hungry Nothing, it seemed, could fill my lack Until one day I met a plain and humble flapjack living in a short stack Just put one fork in front of the other And soon you’ll be bolted to the ground It’s takes perseverance, friend, But you’ll get there in the end You’ll put on 300 pounds Ten Thousand pancakes Is what it took to make my life complete Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve finally finally had enough to eat Ten Thousand pancakes I won’t be needing vegetables or meat Ten Thousand pancakes I’ve had enough, I had enough to eat. ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
2.
You’re newborn, you’re toothless, it’s the first taste on your tongue It’s safe, it’s pure, it’s mother’s milk, it feeds every mammal’s young But my milk goes into a truck, from there it is far-flung I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, mm-mm They brand me, they stand me out here in this grass Sometimes it rains, and I get pains from bloating, ya know, gas But I remain contented, ‘cause I know this too shall pass I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, mm-mm Milk milk, moo, moo Go ahead and pour yourself a tall one Milk milk, moo, moo Remember me, my friend, for we are all one I’m in your tall one I’m chewing, I’m mooing, every waking hour I’ve got to keep 4 stomachs full to keep from going sour It’s not all tender clover, those thistles take jaw power I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, mm-mm Milk milk, moo, moo Delightful goodness comes from all that chewing Milk milk, moo, moo, Remember me, my friend, I’m out here mooing, and always chewing I’m bovine, and that’s fine, I go with the flow I ruminate on pleasant things, the things I hate I let go Life to me seems simple, maybe I’m kinda slow I don’t let it bother me, no, I don’t let it bother me, no-no ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
3.
Well I’m coming to terms with my qualms and concerns ‘bout the lack in my food of all bugs and all germs It’s too antiseptic it makes me dyspeptic and so I’ve decided to live on a Diet of worms Hey, it looks like spaghetti (except that it squirms) And it’s chock full of protein, my doctor affirms that the Key to long life #1 avoid strife #2 use a fork and a knife on a Diet of worms Diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms I pray your indulgence on this bowl of effulgence Martin Luther himself would have sat for a bowlful Eaten all he could want if it weren’t for that pontiff Mr. Luther stood proud and claimed faith in the diet of worms Diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms Some folks just don’t buy it They attempt to deny it But if they’d just try it They might like this diet You just wash it and dry it makes a crusty good pie it tastes great, you can deep fat fry it and you’ll still be on your diet Your diet of worms A respected medical journal confirms This diet helped students score high on midterms Health food stores served it first, claimed it was co-opted When it was adopted by top U.S. firms Can it make you sleep better or stop your bedwetting? Well it did cure forgetting in old pachyderms As for hair growth or loss, the jury’s still out But it gave frosted highlights to women with perms When they all ate their worms Diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms, diet of worms Yes, worms live in the dirt, when you bite down, they hurt, when they’re sauteed they squirt, they can’t wear a tee shirt, they’re just slow, not inert, while they do make good main courses they’re not so great for dessert Diet of Worms ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
4.
03:06
What if I baked potatoes? What if I french fried onion rings? Oh… What if I buttered bagels? What if I smelled of sauerkraut? Oh... And what if I got up early And cooked 3 dozen hard-boiled eggs? Would you stand beside me anyway? And what if I chopped onions and cried? And what if I had feelings I couldn’t hide? And what if I gave you something extra on the side? What if I sliced salami When ham was what you had in mind? Oh… What if you ordered turkey But all I had was chicken breast? Oh... And what if I brought home bacon When all you wanted was a bouquet? Would you still enjoy it anyway? And what if I cut onions and cried? And what if I had feelings I couldn’t hide? And what if I gave you something extra on the side? Something special you’d never tried? What if I owned a deli...? Oh…. ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
5.
03:34
Swimmin’, Swimmin’ (oh…) He’s swimmin’, Swimmin’ (oh…) Swimmin’ around in my soup swimmin’ around in my soup swimmin’ around in my soup Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’ Oh (oh) Ay (ay) Yeah He was flyin’, flyin’ (oh…) yeah, he was flyin’, flyin’ (oh…) But now he’s swimmin’ around in my soup swimmin’ around in my soup swimmin’ around in my soup Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’ Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’ Oh (oh) Ay (ay) Ew (ew) Yeah Waiter? What’s this fly doin’ in my soup? What’s this fly doin’ in my soup? What’s this fly doin’ in my soup? Waiter: That’s an oil-cured olive, sir. Then a fly... did a swan dive Then another fly...did a belly flop Then another fly...did a big old cannonball Then all the flies Did the hundred centi-meter crawl Waiter: Those are oil-cured olives, sir... They were swimmin’, Swimmin’ oh… They’re swimmin’, Swimmin’ oh… Swimmin’ around in my soup swimmin’ around in my soup swimmin’ around in my soup Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’ Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’ Oh (oh) Ay (ay) Ew (ew) Whoa (whoa-ew) Yeah Swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’, swimmin’ ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
6.
Egg salad in the sun, Egg salad in the sun Sweatin’ under stretched plastic skies Russian Roulette, bacteria cries Egg salad in the sun, Egg salad in the sun The chicken’s almost done The hot dog’s in a bun Devil in the eggs multiplyin’ Don’t let it go to waste, save a taste for Brian (Who’s Brian?) Egg salad in the sun, Egg salad in the sun, Yeah, yeah! Beware! Imminent Ptomaine! Take cover under Lady Nature’s leafy bower. EIGHTY DEGREES Sun beating down… NINETY DEGREES Sun beating down… NINETY FIVE DEGREES Sun beating down… ONE HUNDRED DEGREES Sun beating down… A HUNDRED AND FIVE Sun beating down… A HUNDRED AND TEN Sun beating down… A HUNDRED AND TWENTY Sun beating down… IS THIS THE END - MY FRIEND? Down! Down! Egg salad in the sun, in the sun… Mother?! Why would you have a picnic on such a hot, hot day? Father?! Why are the drinks not cold? Brian?! Brian?! Has anyone seen Brian? He was enjoying the egg salad… Is this the end…of Brian? The end of Brian? Brian?! Briaaaan!? ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
7.
If I’m a tomato, you’re a tomato If I’m a bagel, you are one too If I’m a hot dog, you’re a hot dog If I’m a pistachio, you’re a pistachio If I am pastrami, pastrami is you If I’m a pepper, you’re a pepper I am your food, you are what you eat I am your food, your food, your food I am your food, you are what you eat Sauteed or stewed, boiled or brewed, I am your food If I am baloney, you are baloney If I’m a noodle, the noodle is you If you’re chopped liver, what am I? I am your food, you are what you eat Solid or chewed, dressed up or nude, I am your food If I’m missing something, you’re missing something If you are full of it, you’re full of me If I’m asparagus, you’re asparagus, we are asparagus, Oh! If I am delicious, you are delicious If I’ve gone bad, what about you? If I’m okay, You’re okay I am your food, you are what you eat I am your food, your food, your food I am your food, you are what you eat Refined or crude, bad or good, I am your food Controlling your mood, changing your ‘tude, I am your food Salty or sweet, staple or treat, You are what you eat - I am your food! ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
8.
Liverrr! It’s a thing you can’t explain For some it’s nearly ecstasy, for others it’s pure pain Liverrr! It’s featured at some fine buffets My brother loves his liver, but me, it makes me shiver We love every kind of food but when it comes to liver, we go separate ways Liver it’s the chosen food of potentates and kings But simple folk enjoy it too, sometimes with onion rings Liverrr - with a texture you can savor A superfood, improves your mood, your energy will be renewed, but best of all you’re gonna grow to love that lively lovely liver flavor I could never stomach liver, Dad thought I was being picky But I’d eat anything, there’s only one thing that’s so icky Okay, so it’s amazing, it’s nature’s largest gland It’s the flavor that repulses, I cough, my throat convulses, keep it far away, away, away, for liver is the food that I Can’t Stand Liver, liver, sound the bells, beat the liver drums! Mama’s cooking liver on the mountain, here it comes! Liver - Everybody’s got one inside Liver - I don’t want my liver deep fried! Liver was detested by the great George Bernard Shaw And yet when he fell ill he took injections of foie gras Liverrr! It’s enshrined in France’s law In America we’re free to like foie gras or leave it be But will our kids be forced to eat that liver by their mas and pas? Liver, liver, sound the bells, beat the liver drums! Mama’s cooking liver on the mountain, here it comes! So if you’re stuck upriver, with no paddle and no food If the natives offer liver, smile big and eat a sliver For for even if you are a liver hater, you don’t want to be rude. Don’t be rude. ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
9.
This is a story about the dangers of fast food… Where’s my chicken? It was here just a minute ago… Where’s the drinks? Where’s the fries? Where’d it all go, bro? Everybody, hold on now, hold still This food’s gotta slow slow down I mean, I’m here, and my lunch has run off to the other side of town See that nervous potato, going faster n’ faster? Can’t make those sharp turns, headed for disaster Seems so tasty Too too hasty That food’s too fast for me - Try to snatch it That food’s too fast for me - Can’t catch it That food’s too fast for me Here it comes, Here it comes Ah here it comes, Too fast! That food’s too fast for me - Can’t grab it That food’s too fast for me - Like a rabbit That food’s too fast for me - Can’t grab it Top down open road,, golden nuggets flyin’ by Grumbling in my stomach, high-strung french fry Quarter pound of cow, twelve teaspoons of salt Tense, twitchy special sauce, can’t slow down, can’t halt 36 ounces, down the gullet Goin’ uphill, can’t hardly pull it Headed downtown like a bullet, like a bullet That food’s too fast for me - No dishes That food’s too fast for me - It’s delicious That food’s too fast for me Here it comes, Here it comes Ah here it comes, Too fast! That food’s too fast for me - Let me tell ya That food’s too fast for me - Brown n’ yellow That food’s too fast for me Here it comes, Here it comes Oh there it goes…. ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
10.
Lunch is in a paper bag A wrinkled brown one, a lost and found one It’s the kind of lunch I’ve always had They won’t sit near ‘ya in the cafeteria Anyone would feel a little sad If every day they held a paper bag It’s helpless, and it’s hopeless, and it’s mad To find yourself at the bottom of a helpless hopeless bag... But If I had a lunchbox you would notice me You would look my way you would finally see And If I had a lunch box you would take my hand You would walk with me, you would understand If I had a lunchbox! For a thousand years We would be together, there’d be no more tears! We could share a lunchbox A locker and a lunchbox A cottage and a lunchbox A life and a lunchbox Is that so very much to ask?… Lunch is in a paper bag And I am lonely, and you’re the only one for me ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
11.
Between the clouds A patch of blue A million million flashes of silver Raining down In puddles and streams and rivers Into the bay… the water shines Iwashi, Iwashi, City of Sardines The cats come down Down from the mountains They line the shore and wait patiently With lanterns and nets The people gather The children laugh, the trumpets ring Iwashi, Iwashi City of Sardines So many years of uncertainty Of promise fading, dissipating Hungry no more. Fulfilled and full and finally provided for Iwashi, Iwashi! ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
12.
03:29
I live the shelf life I’m up to date Got it printed on my bottom so you know I’m fresh and great The time is now, you don’t wanna wait Take me out, take a bite, before it gets too late Step up to the plate Timely fashion, timely taste, you got to keep up with the times, don’t go to waste You sniff the milk and it sniffs you back, now you’re going down You sniff the milk and it sniffs you back, now you’re going down The hot dogs, they all got their day Same with sour cream Or that low-fat fruit parfait You got to use it, or give it away Life is short, live it up, before it’s all passé Eat up, don’t delay Life is not a cabernet, you don’t get better on the shelf, you just go gray You sniff the milk and it sniffs you back, now you’re going down It’s not a joke, it’s a gag attack, now you’re going down You gotta get with the times, keep up, don’t lag If you’re sitting around you get tired and old, you get moldy, you get the cold shoulder and you gonna make your friends all gag You gotta eat it up, use it up, wear it out You gotta make it do or do without Why waste your time, your life, your food, your drink, check the date on the bottom don’t throw it in the sink What you thinkin? You think it all costs nothin? Why you toss that potato, why you throw away the muffin? That’s a half a sandwich, it’s all good, start chewin, you know what you’re doin Every shelf of your refrigerator needs a full inventory, check the label, tell the story of the food goin’ down, down down the drain Wolf it down, don’t be a birdbrain! I live the shelf life I’m up to date Yeah, I’m fresh and great The time is now, you don’t wanna wait Before it gets too late Step up to the plate Timely fashion, timely taste, you got to keep up with the time Don’t let me go to waste Don’t let me go to waste Check the date! ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP
13.
The bread was warm The green beans were lined up straight The mashed potatoes were far-reaching His arms outstretched His glass of wine long-legged Grandpa faced the corner, he was preaching Napkins and tablecoths Folding chairs Twenty pounds of turkey on a platter Candy canes and cigarettes Hot toddies and Shirley Temples Kids yell in the yard, in the kitchen grown-ups chatter When winter comes light the candles When the daylight fades have no fear The longest meal, at the longest table, on the longest night of the year Hard candy for the children Whiskey sour for Uncle Frank Hand to hand, the dishes wash and clatter The young ones yawn The jokes keep getting louder Aunt Sarah fell asleep, Uncle Frank says he feels fatter When winter comes light the candles When the daylight fades have no fear The longest meal, at the longest table, on the longest night of the year ©2018 Gunnar Madsen/ASCAP

about

Grammy-nominated songwriter Gunnar Madsen returns with an album of songs all about food. Witty, touching, hummable, off-the-wall, the subjects include Deli Owners, Pancake Eaters, Monsoons of Sardines, and Martin Luther’s famed Diet of Worms. There’s a banquet of musical styles: If you like The Doors, Tom Waits, Neil Diamond, They Might Be Giants or Bob Dylan, there’s a song on this album just for you. Suitable for all ages. Special guests include Grammy laureates Bill Harley, Frances England and Justin Roberts. Gunnar's previous “rated gee” recordings (Old Mr. Mackle Hackle, Ants in My Pants and I’m Growing!) have won virtually every major award in the genre and are favorites in thousands of homes.

credits

released June 15, 2018

Mastered By: Myles Boisen at Headless Buddha, Oakland ca
Cover Art: Leftover food artwork by Noah Scalin (noahscalin.com)
All other art: Gunnar Madsen
Recorded at: G-Spot Studios, Berkeley, ca

Produced and Performed (except for special guests) by Gunnar Madsen

Love & Thanks To: Beth Blenz-Clucas, Justin Roberts, Frances England, Bill Harley, Marcella Madsen, Quinn Madsen, Myles Boisen & David Jouris (sampler quotes) and so many more, for their support and inspiration.

all Songs published by Mop Mop Music ASCAP all Songs ©2018 Gunnar Madsen except 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10 which are ©2016 Gunnar Madsen

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Gunnar Madsen Berkeley

Gunnar Madsen is a Grammy-nominated composer/songwriter.
He’s written for the Minnesota Opera, Lincoln Center, Universal Pictures and National Public Radio;
He has performed on The Tonight Show, the Smothers Brothers Show, PBS, and the BBC.
He co-founded the internationally acclaimed acapella group The Bobs.
He co-wrote the award-winning Off-Broadway musical “The Shaggs: Philosophy of the World”
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